News I Can Live With

Scan day was quickly approaching.  My scanxiety was getting pretty intense.  The last three drugs I had tried over the last year hadn't worked.  My cancer just continued to grow. I really wasn't sure if I could deal with more bad news and another failed drug.  There are only so many drugs, and I was flying through them way too quickly.  

I started the chemotherapy, Navelbine, with Herceptin in September with high hopes that maybe this would be the one. This would be the treatment plan that would at least stabilize this ridiculous cancer. The scans were at 8:00 am and the hospital had a new CT Scanner.  I was glad the imaging would be improved...for those of you familiar with CT scans, the new would be 128 slice scanning rather than 64. I went back to work to keep myself busy for one of the longest days of my life.  The reports were not ready until 3:00 pm!  When I picked my reports up, I wanted to run to the car, but I tried not to look too crazy and anxious. I have read many reports so I knew exactly what words I was looking for...decreased and/or stable.  As I quickly scanned through the report, I sat there in my car just repeating myself over and over...thank you, thank you, thank you. The reports showed that everything was decreased in size or stable....everything!  Nothing new.  Nothing increased. For the first time in 12 long months, I had the report I had been so desperate to see. I couldn't wait to tell my husband and kids! The next day, my Oncologist showed me the new scans versus the latest ones.  While the changes were not huge, they were changes in the right direction.  This is what we needed!

I know I am blessed to live over three years with Stage 4 Cancer, and I keep looking forward to what I hope will be many more...thank you, thank you, thank you...This is News I Can Live With!