Crazy How Everything You Have Taught Yourself to Deal With Can Change So Drastically in 48 Hours.

It has been a while since my last post...December actually! My need and desire to post had slightly diminished as I continued to motor through 10 months of good scans on the same drug!Life was back in order.  I felt good and so very thankful for this time! I think I was starting to feel invincible again.  

And then in 48 hours, it all changed.  This is how cancer works.  There are no rules, no manual, no true predictions to count on...only the blank timeline card on your life that you carry around all the time. 

I was in Florida with Lydia and a friend and her daughters last week.  We had a wonderful relaxing time, but as the week went on, each day I felt worse.  I couldn't really explain it and I didn't want to talk about it in case it was real. But I knew deep down inside, something was definitely not right.  I was dealing with some dull headaches, dull neck pain that would shoot into my head if I moved too fast, and some strange balance issues.  I had no idea anyone else could tell, but on the last night Lydia looked at me and said, "Mom, is it time for another scan?"  

We came home on Sunday and I emailed my doctor that afternoon explaining my experiences.  She had me scheduled for an MRI at 1:00 the next day.  Report came Monday, she called, we chatted, and I was scheduled for whole brain radiation on Tuesday morning.  I can't say enough about this incredible woman!

So this week, I have been blindly walking into the world of Brain METS. A cold dark place that I have not yet explored.  Basically what this means is that my breast cancer has metastasized to my brain.  The purpose and hope of the whole brain radiation is that it will zap (or shrink) all of the spots. Brain METS was really not a huge problem until the miracle of helping women to live longer came with the curse of the cancer metastasizing to their brains.  But I am happy to say that much wonderful progress treating this has been made. 

So yes, I would like to request continued prayers that the radiation will indeed do what it is intended to do...ZAP!  I don't really know what the path looks like from here, but the word that I am getting from other professionals is that this a very hopeful time and that they know many women that have lived for years after diagnosis.  

I wish this update was exciting and upbeat, but for now, we as a family will be processing through. Hug your spouses, hug you children, and be thankful for all the crazy chaos on your plate right now! But slow down a little bit and see it, enjoy it, live it!